My friends who have been following my blog, I need your prayers for Linda, a woman who God brought into my life last year as my new sister and whom I love as if she were my sister from birth. She is a woman with the beautiful heart of a caretaker, a tender hearted and kind person, who also is strong-willed. Those are wonderful qualities when used in a Godly manner.
Unfortunately she has been in a relationship with someone for several years who is a narcissist, a people user, an alcoholic and a druggie. He is a servant of the evil one and has captured her emotionally. God has led her to break off that relationship 95% in the past few months through my love and prayers. But the last 5% is the hardest for her to let go of, it is also the most dangerous. I covet your fervent prayers for her.
On March 2 the Lord led me to begin a 40-day period of fasting one meal a day and praying for her one hour a day, most of the time more than one hour a day. I have never been in such an intense spiritual battle in my life, and at 76 years old it is wearing me out. But I will continue on until the end and hope that God will answer my prayers and harden her heart against that man and completely break off the relationship forever.
God is extremely serious about this and has given her several severe warnings in the past few weeks, especially in the last week. If she obeys her life will be wonderful, safe, happy and filled with joy. However, if she doesn't let him go completely the results will be catastrophic and extremely painful for her. Unfortunately, it will also be terribly painful for me because it would break my heart to lose her, to see her waste away from cancer, that is how serious God is about this. She will also be carjacked and her best friend, her beloved dog, will die. God is deadly serious about this. He demands obedience.
Linda is strong-willed and I can do no more to try to convince her to end this relationship completely and forever. The only thing I can hope on is prayer, which I have been doing a lot of. But it is an intense spiritual battle and I need your prayers also. The battle is between good and evil, and I don't want evil to win. Please keep her in your prayers daily. Pray for God to give her the strength to end this relationship forever. Pray for the Lord to win this battle with satan.
Thank you! I'll let you know what happens.
4/16/22
The day before my 40 days of fasting and prayer for Linda ended she called me and told me that she was going to be Chip's caretaker, regardless of my advice and the warnings of the Lord. The next day, the end of the fast, God had me write her and tell her that she had been warned, and severely warned, and that she had one final chance to choose to follow God or continue down her disastrous path, choose good or choose evil. And I told her that if she chose the path of evil then I would not be there to help her when the disasters came. Unfortunately, she choose the path of disaster.
That same morning I had a dream in which I was in the passenger seat of a moving car and my door was wide open. The meaning of the dream was that I was not the driver, but just a passenger in a car that Linda was driving (her life's path) and my heart was wide open to her, I loved her so dearly as my sister. I was there to offer advice and counsel as to what God's direction for her life was, but I couldn't force her to take that advice. But with my heart wide open there came a great danger of me being badly injured if her life turned into a disaster. As a watchman/prophet I saw that she was headed towards a great and horrible wreck if she didn't change course. When she told me that she was not going to change course I had to close the door to my heart to protect it. I knew that if I didn't the coming wreck could very well destroy me because my love for her was so great that I might not survive the pain when she is badly hurt by the tragedies that are coming her way.
Did God answer my prayers for her? No. She made the choice to continue on knowing that disaster was just ahead. But, because of that dream, He did have me harden my heart so that I wouldn't be badly hurt when she wrecks. The 40 days of fasting and prayer were apparently also to tell me that I had to get out of this relationship before disaster struck. Yes, it hurts me to have to end this relationship because she was truly my sister and I loved her so dearly. But there was only one way, and that is God's way.
Isaiah 55:8-9 - “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth so are my ways higher than your way and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Addendum
Ending
the relationship with Linda is one of the most painful things that I've
ever had to do. It has torn my heart apart and I have cried buckets of
tears since God had me sever our relationship. It hurts terribly! The
pain has been so great that twice I have cried so intensely, so deeply
that I thought I was going to pass out, even leading me to the ER one
time to make sure that nothing was physically wrong with me. I hurt also
because I never wanted to do anything to hurt her. She was hurt too
much already. It is like grieving for someone you love who has just
died. It is an horrible experience that only those who have lost a loved
one can understand. Thank God the grief comes in waves and not all at
once, otherwise it would kill me.
This is certainly not the way I would have handled all this. I would have been loving, kind, understanding, compassionate and patient, like I was for the seven months she was in my life. God had bonded our hearts together like we were brother and sister from the days we were born and I loved her dearly. If it had been up to me I would never have given her that ultimatum to choose evil or good, that just isn't my way of doing things. To me that's not how you show love. But God's ways are not our ways. This is what He requires of me: Micah 3:8 - But as for me, I am filled with power, with the Spirit of the Lord, and with justice and might, to declare to Jacob his transgression, to Israel his sin.
There is a "good" side to this, if you want to call it "good". If I had not ended the relationship, then when the tragedies do come upon her - the warnings that God had given her which are going to cause her horrible pain and intense suffering - I would have been there to share in her pain, to take her pain into my heart, to carry it on my shoulders, and it would have been so heavy it would have destroyed me. It didn't matter if her disobedience to God had caused these things to come upon her, I would still have been there for her - but God would not let that happen, not let me be there for her. I told her when I began the 40-day fasting and prayer for her that when it was over that I could do nothing more for her because I was absolutely exhausted from all the battles that I had been doing for her in the last seven months. She accepted that, and the consequences.
Because of the unbelievable stress that the battles of the past 39 years have caused me, I could not have emotionally handled Linda's pain also. It would have destroyed me. I would have been in a mental institution before it was all over, it would have completely broken me. I would have taken on her pain that intensely because she is my sister and I love her so dearly. I already was carrying her pain for the past seven months, the pain of her relationship with Chip for the last six years, plus all my own pain from the last 39 years, and am absolutely exhausted from it, worn out physically and emotionally. So, by God having me end my relationship with Linda before those terrible disasters come upon her, He was saving me from a complete breakdown. I guess that maybe that could be considered a "good" thing.
But,
if after some of the horrors come upon her she sees the error of her
ways and and puts the evil one out of her life, then I would take her
back into my life immediately. I'm not angry with her, she is still my
sister whom I love dearly, that will never change. But I cannot support
her and stand with her while she is being deliberately disobedient to
God. Yes, it is traumatic for me, horribly painful, but it's what God
requires of me.
So, what is all this about, what is God's purpose in all I've been through with Linda? It is about the way that God feels about this nation. He has warned and warned and warned the USA for many years now, He has shown us what His judgment will be on this nation if we do not repent and turn from our wicked and evil ways. He has pleaded with us time after time after time to turn around and return to Him and His ways. He has shown us the error of our ways and what He demands us to do. He has let us know far ahead of time what will happen if we do not obey Him.
Yet, this nation has refused to listen to Him, refused to repent of its wickedness and turn from its perverted ways. God built this nation and blessed it like no other nation in history. He showed us what His love and blessings are like. He has also shown us how compassionate and patient He is. He has waited and waited and waited for us to make the decision to turn around and return to Him. But we have refused. Like I hurt for Linda, so also does God hurt for this nation. He hurts because we have persisted in our ways and now He is going to have to destroy the USA. Yes, His heart hurts, like mine does. He is in pain as I am because He is going to have to turn His back on this nation that He loves so dearly.
Throughout
history He has used His prophets to portray what His heart is like in
regard to a nation, city or individual. He is using this situation with
Linda as an example of how He cries for this country and how painful it
will be for Him when He turns away from the USA and sends judgment upon
us. But judgment will surely come. ONLY when we repent and turn from our evil ways will He turn back to us. ONLY then will He begin to show His love to this nation again. Anyone who thinks that they might want to be a prophet is a fool.
There's also another lesson to be learned from this. Matt 10:34-36 - Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to turn“‘a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—36a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’
Those days are here, now God is demanding that we separate ourselves from the evil in this world. God
told us that we would have troubles, battles, tests, affliction. He
didn't tell us to make peace with everyone. He told us that we would
have trouble, we would be different, that we would be hated even by our
own families, by our parents, sons, daughters, brothers and sisters
because of our views and lifestyles and that we could not participate
with them in their sins, that we had to be separate, different. That's
what is happening with me right now. Obedience to Him is the only way,
no matter how much pain it costs us. Yes, it hurts terribly.
I had a friend whose son was a homosexual, something that truly bothered her. But she and her husband invited their son and his homosexual lover to spend a few days with them "to show them love". Never once did they confront them about their sinful lifestyle. Their home is now perverted, and unclean spirits now can come and go as they please.
I had young friend who thought she was a Christian and thought that obama was a wonderful man, that homosexual love was a beautiful thing, that abortion was a woman's right. I tried to reason with her, to show her the evil of those things. I sent her many Bible verses to back up what I was saying. But she refused to listen. She has been seduced by the perversions of the younger generations. She no longer wants anything to do with me . That's exactly what Jesus was talking about in the verses above.
God
sends people to me who need love, compassion, understanding and
kindness, and I give them those things in abundance. But far too many
times when I offer them counsel and show them things that they must do
to prevent bad things from happening to them again in the future , or
things that they must give up, they refuse to listen - like Linda. She
told me that I am a good shepherd. But a shepherd cannot force the sheep
to go on the right path. If they chose the wrong path even when they've
been warned otherwise, the shepherd must set them free and let them
learn from their disobedience.
God doesn't tell us to get along with the world, He tells us to be different, to be an example of holiness. We have to separate ourselves from those who refuse to listen to God's warnings about holiness and obedience. We cannot let them think that their sins are just another lifestyle.
July 11,2024 - Two years later
When I had to let Linda go it almost broke my heart. It was like a heart attack, a stroke, and it hit me hard. It hit me physically, emotionally and mentally. I have always enjoyed exercising, going to the health club and using their equipment and swimming pool, I would spend about an hour there. But after losing Linda I could only exercise about fifteen minutes before I would get light-headed and dizzy. Then I had to go home. That continued for almost eighteen months before I could extend it to thirty minutes. But now, even over two years later, I can still only exercise for thirty minutes before I get light-headed, dizzy.
Mentally I felt like I was ninety years old. I couldn't think nearly as well as I had before, my mind was much slower. My thought process wasn't working near as well as it had before, my mind was not nearly as sharp as it had been before. My memory was severely affected. Yes, it hit me that hard. It was almost like a stroke. Over two years later I have recovered probably 75%, but certainly not 100%.
Emotionally my nerves were shot, my heart felt like a huge piece of it had been ripped out of me. I tried to get medication for it from my doctor at the VA but God would not let that happen, He made me go through it without any help, all on my own. It didn't take much for me to break down in tears, the least little thing would hit me hard. I'd be watching tv and just start crying. I'd be reading a novel and anything resembling emotional pain would cause tears to flow from my eyes. Even at this date over two years later, I have still not recovered completely.
This has been absolute hell. Since I had to sever the relationship with Linda I have not prayed or read the Bible. I haven't yet forgiven God and don't know when I will, and I don't care. People who think God is a good God who just wants to bless you are foolish little children.
